Alternative Modelling Competition 2018 : I Lost & I Won

Back in April 2018, I made my way to Whitby Goth Festival for the first time ever (yes, I know, I do everything late – better late than never though innit?). And as I scurried along Whitby Pavilion’s market stalls, my eyes were compelled to read a sign advertising for an alternative modelling competition which had a £10 admin fee [all I had left post shopping] and virtually no waiting time …

A tight-arse impatient witch did not have to be convinced twice!

I went through the audition – and completely forgot about it, that is until i received the email confirming me as a finalist!!!!

This was back in April-May and the date of the finals kept moving date and location. I kind of left it at the back of my mind as I had lots to deal with in the meantime. In the end they settled for 17th November in Newcastle.

As with all of my journeys – it always starts with a train selfie !

I have to admit that this is a face which had not slept much and was still a little stressed over unpacking boxes as I had just moved two weeks ago into my new flat. Additionally, I was still stressed due to some week-long shenanigans from my ex-landlady regarding my deposit (thankfully resolved). I packed in the morning and this was a big big mistake. More on that below.

The train ride was smooth and I made my way to Newcastle … late and even more stressed as the email stated that applicants needed to be registering at 3pm, and my arse did not get into town and the hotel till way past 3!


I rushed to my hotel, which was right opposite the station, did my check -in and frantically searched for an Uber to take me to the Northumbria Student Union, where the event was held.


Upon arrival, I breathed a sigh of relief as I was not the only fashionably late arrival – in fact, many of us were lost (in badass fashion).

My heart jumped when I arrived upstairs : the room was literally packed with stylish people – some people were basically ready already, and looking fierce.

I met some truly lovely people, including Rachel from London, with whom I spent most of the day chatting and chilling with. It was so nice to meet her! Indeed, it would have been such a long day to spend alone and frankly, nerve wracking as the energy did get quite intense there.  We ended up getting food together and getting ready in the loos with another lovely lady, Lucy Bat Crazy.

And this is us !


Honestly? this was one of the best part of the day – realising that there are so many other nervous, excited, chilled people just wanting to have fun and enjoy the day! I have not seen or experienced any cattiness and everybody was literally helping each other out.

Corset needs tightening? lady on the left jumps to help.

Selfie needs taking but struggling? Lady on the right offers to help.

Hair needs back-combing? Brush and hairspray available!

Honestly it was so much fun and such a great atmosphere!

Now my look … Guess what? I have so many amazing outfits and went for something … bland and safe – which is completely the opposite of what I should have done. I had a last minute panic whilst packing and my anxiety took over, making me pick a safe outfit. I was planning something grandiose since the moment I realised I was a finalist and I literally shot myself in the foot by not trusting myself.

However, I am not kicking myself over it because  1) I now understand that I cannot let anxiety beat me. 2) I still love my veil and my bling assortment 😉


There is basically a huge curtain separating the catwalk stage from the contestants’ waiting area. Tables and mirrors are provided for people to get ready but it was much nicer and calmer to do this in the loos.

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This is me on the catwalk – I did not have a chance to do a practice run and I was the last one off my age group to walk. I completely BLANKED out walking up to the front bit, honestly I think I froze and it really annoys me. But hey, it is my first one! (credit : Photo-Framed)


I must say, after waiting all day to walk, time flies by like crazy once you get up there. I really enjoyed it though, but really really wish I had planned my outfit better, considering my actual tendency for big bold things and the amount of things I own and wear.

Never mind!

After the walk, it was time for a break and some FOOD! I ate biscuits all day and a tiny panini at 6pm-ish with Rachel – so mama was starrrrrving after the walk.

A performer was on stage during the judges’ deliberation but am sorry to say, I was too hungry to watch!


So I fetched a kebab within the vicinity of the venue … and stuffed my cheeks! At that stage, I was hungry and tired but still living on adrenaline. Thinking back, I should have travelled Friday and slept over to get a good night’s sleep – but I couldn’t, so I travelled in the morning which sapped my energy a bit.



There was an after-party in the local rock club after the winners got announced, but I was beyond exhausted by then and still had my suitcase with me. So I took a final toilet selfie and made my way to the hotel!


… where I took MORE selfies for … posterity !! No, no, I took them as I wanted to show my friends what was my outfit … promise!

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I was happy! Because I had a great day, and I actually felt more confident. It is such hard work, but confidence is always a work in progress. And I have come very far, from being a shadow of myself to actually standing in front of my shadow on a catwalk.

So yes, I did not win the competition – but I won my competition and some new fashion friends. What is not to like?!

Plus, I have registered for another audition which I will do my best to smash, Thunderella style!

So Newcastle : keep rocking with your leopard socks on, for I will be back (hopefully!)

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See you sometime next year Alternative Modelling Competition Catwalk !



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5 Comments Leave a comment

  1. I’m glad you had fun and I had 3 friends participate in the same shows, neither won and they all had the same thoughts and feelings afterwards. It’s not about winning but taking part and challenging yourself to “get out there”. I think your outfit looked great, sophisticated, not too over the top and I envy you meeting so many new friends and like minded people!

    Your probably met my friends too as I believe they went to the Newcastle auditions

    • Hey thank you so much for this comment 🙂 honestly the process of it was the most fun part rather than the result. What was the most amazing is that everybody was so supportive of each other, and it didn’t feel like a competition but a gathering of awesome people joined by a common love for all things alternative 🙂 thanks again! Xx

    • Oooh cool coincidence ! I honestly wished I’d come on Friday to visit but never mind, I’ll try again next year 🙂 x

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