Social Media Breeds Solitude

Over the last few weeks, I have taken a voluntary break from Facebook & personal social media, and it has been both a therapeutic and disgusting experience.


Well, first of all, let me get this straight:  no, Mark Zuckerberg did not implore me to come back with a thumb up his arse dancing to ‘I Like It Like That’.

It is worse. Way worse.

I realised that these days, you do not exist in people’s consciousness unless you are living and breathing on Facebook.

And I mean it : if your existence is not documented in some way on Facebook, it is as if you are dead / non existent / not useful to the social media consciousness. Yes, the social media consciousness : it feels to me that the herd mentality which pervades social groups in some scenes, is replicated virtually and leads masses of virtual asses to act and behave a specific way for facebook purposes. The social media consciousness means that, just like in a public group setting, people within a virtual group setting feel the need to be validated and scream the loudest.

Even people who I thought were smarter than the social media game, have shown themselves to be playing games to look some way on facebook : men who are not single tagging themselves alone when they are out with their girlfriends is a prime example of pure fuckery. People pretending they have not seen your messages when they have been clogging the facebook septic tank for the last 68 minutes [thanks for that doomsday clock fuckbook] – just rude and nasty. Would you ignore your friend face to face?? Pretend you did not hear them for 1 hour?


My point is that back in the day [yas I finally got to the age when I can say that], we had text messages, messaging systems and phone calls. We would do personal, one on one check on the people we call FRIENDS.  Relationships were more active than the volcanoes currently going apeshit on the ring of fire (you see, I can do pointless statements very easily).

Now, everything is passive, fake and completely based off showcasing specific aspects of one’s life. Really?

You see, Instagram for me is different because I use it purely for fashion, travel and fun – and this is shared with a community with whom I don’t have personal ties.

But where Facebook breeds solitude to me is when you realise that actually, whilst you are connected virtually via an algorithm, there is no real connection in real life with people you are supposed to be connected with. You scroll, and scroll, and scroll, through endless one liners and selfies about some stranger’s hangover vomit or some ex-colleagues latest food poisoning meal. What is the point??

I have the disability of empathy and loyalty and I do get hurt when I see that I am being ignored by people who are supposed to be close and for whom I am perpetually serving as therapist and financial advisor.  And this is where Facebook for me is a nasty tool – it breeds desire for instant reactivity and feelings of being let down or ignored or not ‘liked’. Personally I do not give a fuck about the ‘like’ aspect because I like my stuff and don’t require any further approval than that – but I have noticed that Facebook does generate pettiness and just judgemental behaviours.

I feel overall that social media and facebook specifically has a way of highlighting actually how alone or shallow people are. How can you be spending all day on Facebook yet be so busy living life? *eyeroll*

But I am not alone because I have myself, and it is the most important lesson I have learnt over the last 20 years. I do things because I want to be a better person than I was yesterday – not be a better person than a facebook representation. I would rather be alone than be surrounded by cardboard figures and virtual thumbs.

My motto?

Live life outside and be AUTHENTIC !!!

Do you use social media? What are your thoughts on social media use these days?


Alternative Blogger Frenemies Lifestyle Rant Social Media

5 Comments Leave a comment

  1. And the above is why I regularly take FB holidays of 3-4 weeks to detox that creeping sense that I am missing out on something (I’m not!). I’m planning on throughout August right now, I’m only keeping it live now as a means of communicating with people I’m involved in events with through this month and July.

    I do keep Messanger switched on when I suspend my account though – mainly because family & friends are scattered across the globe and it is easier to use than email sometimes when we need to catch up.

    I use Twitter purely for work promotion purposes as a writer (not just my own work but my writing colleagues and friends) and that feed is edited to that effect. It is waaaaaay too public a space to rant / sound off / emote for me.

    Instagram is interesting – I don’t really take many pics so haven’t seen much use for it but I do like looking at some accounts (mainly music / book related as well as some friends).

    But sometimes I have to go full digital detox and just switch the whole lot off to clear my head.

    • This is it. That creeping sense of missing out is very very sad in a way because it infers that life is not happening outside but in the virtual world. Missing out on … virtual chatter? virtual friendships? Id like to think that my friendships are based on real life interactions for the most of it and lets say 20% virtual because life gets in the way and you can’t always meet people.
      Instagram has its own downfalls but once you navigate through the BS, it can be interesting. Enjoy the digital detox !!

  2. I never use Facebook anymore. I only have it for when my cousins need to get a hold of me. I’m very fortunate where I have friends that don’t base our relationship our social media usage. However I do like using some form of social media because my friends are scattered throughout the globe now and I like seeing pictures of their kids and stuff. But we still text and FaceTime and all that to really stay connected since I can’t see them in person anymore.

    And on the plus side, I wouldn’t have been able to meet you without blogging, which I guess is a form of social media 😉 🖤

    • Hey girl! Great use of FB, I completely understand that for people who have friends and family across the globe it is a useful tool. What grates me is people who live in the same city (in my case London) who would rather check what you do on FB than set up a catchup in real life. It is so odd !Maybe it is a London thing?
      For me blogging is not really social media in the same vein as facebook / twitter / instagram are because there isn’t that element of instant gratification and validation (in my eyes). Thanks for your comments! 🙂

Get Loud!

%d bloggers like this: