It has been three nights since I have moved into my new lair, and I feel like punching a wall.
It is so bad that I am seriously considering returning to my old flat (still have the keys for another 2 weeks) and forfeit my deposit to what I will describe to the letting agent as “a human earthquake incident, level 10 on the Hulk Magnitude Scale’ [these things really should be included in London tenancy agreements].
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my new flat, but honestly, this process has been more arduous and time-consuming than the latest Guns’N’Roses album release.
To start with, the endless packing and unpacking really made me feel like Halloween should have been the following week …why? Because I would have had the perfect body & costume for it: He-Man.
On top of that, within the second day of moving in, I have been confronted with the harsh reality that my downstairs neighbours are in fact, uppity meerkats.
Tell me why these people felt justified in monitoring me when I went to collect a late evening delivery from the front door – thus establishing my presence in the property – and subsequently decided it was ok to run up the stairs to bash on my door like a couple of demented Woody Woodpeckers ?
I am talking about banging loudly at 8.30pm not once, but twice, to ‘introduce’ themselves with a box of biscuits [sneaky yet tasty] whilst launching a twenty minutes long tirade about their bedtime routine, requirements for coming in and out of the main front door and a bin management procedure ?
Oh that sounds exaggerated alright?
Within two minutes of me opening the door slightly ajar (technical note: wide enough to grab the chocolate biscuits), the meerkats proceeded to pompously and solemnly announce that:
· they are special Human Beings by virtue of working in offices, and therefore have routines they need to stick to – which the whole building need to be mindful of; [I rolled my eyes all the way to the office when I heard this, and trust me, I DONT WORK OVERTIME!]
· that their nephew comes to visit sometimes; [mine does too! wow so special]
· that they wake up at 6am and go to bed at 10pm ; [great! the times I do my Banish the Tools Ritual!]
· they have launched a system with the previous tenant whereby the tenants take it in turn to take each other’s bins, and could you you have to adhere to it?
Hunny, I iz not a lodger in your palace. I iz a paying tenant with also an office job requiring me to travel 4 hours a day. UGH !!!!
PLUS! I am a Business Analyst and this bin process has been doing my nut in. It is inefficient as f*ck , case in point :
On this note, I am now off to IKEA to mess up the routine and cause chaos in the Universe. Normal, sane (HA!) blogging will resume once I manage to finalise this goddamn flat move!
Sending Love & Good Processes Your Way Readers!