Instagram? A Bit of Glam, And Some Toys Out Of the Pram

Holy Jon Bon Jovi, I think I am suffering from social media-itus.
First, Facebook irritating the middle finger out of me, and now, Instagram making me want to turn my fist into a hashtag.
I have always loved photography (or rather iPhonography)… Back in the days when I used to travel a lot (*cries for Argentina*), I was always directed to that little bit of graffiti or cute little statue which was peeking from the corner of my eye and asking for a snap to be taken (no statues of naked men involved). 

On my way to work, I would see a cute furry bee on a flower and get my phone out to snap it away – before it snapped me. I can confirm that these vibrating buggers don’t ask for photos to be taken.
So, along with picking writing back from where I left it (between my ego and some weirdos), I decided to revisit photography as well. And what platform other than Instagram, the biggest online photo sharing blackhole?

I have been on Instagram for a grand total of 6 months, and whilst it has some great advantages, I find it to be one of the most ridiculously frivolous social media platform due to some really freaking odd “king/queen of the toilet throne” behaviours (I’ll explain in a bit, it is safe for work).


The King or Queen of The Toilet Throne to me, is a person who will exhibit one or more of the traits described below.

1) Playing C#ntdown – annoyance rating : 🖕🖕🖕
An increasingly high number of instagrammers, hereby known as the #instatwats, seem to be playing number games and getting obsessed with increasing their counts by acting like c#nts. If you haven’t heard of the Follow/Unfollow method, it is whereby a fame hungry douchebag/uette, adds a large number of accounts, with the hope that you will follow them. Once you do, they unfollow you so they look cool. 

In my book, it makes you look like a magnified tool with decimal points.

2) Playing Cockstar – annoyance rating : 

See above, same pattern but add overprocessed mullets and 3 groupies to the mix. You are supposed to nurture fans, not torture them with your insufferable attitude and quest for unwarranted fame. Forcing yourself or your band onto people and chucking them away straight just illustrates how inauthentic your band is – music should speak, not numbers.

If you cannot grow organically, virtual Viagra ain’t going to do the trick.

Creeping Pests – annoyance rating : 

To be fair, this is not specific to Instagram, but still, it is another platform that is being diverted by panty divers who have been too long in the losers sea.

Just enjoying the ride 🙂

4) Desperado Egos – annoyance rating : 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
#follow4follow4follow4follow# #ifollowanythingthatfollowsbecausefollowingrandomsismygoalinlife# #followmeforafreescrollingthumbinjury#


I think that for a majority of people, Instagram was to be an outlet for some cool shots and visual creative outbursts. But damn, you scroll through Instagram and its faker than the Moon landing. I use filters myself of course – but to enhance existing features; not to make it look like it was photoshopped by LSD or that I have turned into a galactic snoop doggy dog (I HATE THESE  SNAPCHAT FILTERS!!!).

Additionally, at the end of the day it is just a huge bucket of strangers photos and it feels very empty and inauthentic. There is no traceability or ownership, and unless you hashtag something to the Gods, your efforts just end up lost in the ether.  Noone cares after all, and we shouldn’t anyway!

I think I will put all my photos on my blog as it feels more personal and I can tell a story that will remain anchored…Alternatively, I was thinking of using ifttt (check them out) to use Instagram as a sharing platform.

In any case, it would be great to hear if anyone else feels this way?  What are your thoughts?

With love & snaps,


Instagram Rant Social Media

2 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Very true, it is self expression so really it should come in any way shape or form. I suppose that what irks me the most is not so much the pictures, but the behaviours. I have a very low threshold for this kind of things! The way people online says a lot about their character I suppose. You wouldnt do this sort of things in real life, yet it is acceptable to act like an utter moron online…

  2. I am getting sore eyes with this psychedelic over filtered pictures on Instagram. No authenticity, no real emotions, only the effect counts. On the other side, it's our own decision, wether we are heading for the #goldmedal using those strategies you described well or using Instagram for sharing real emotions, individual perspectives and our own point of view. I prefer real individuality and personality, thats more worth than having thousands of followers.Drakeontrail

Get Loud!

%d bloggers like this: